Drifting In And Out

I like the way the characters are drawn, very Sing-ah-pore-re-ean.
Ol' Dan's very locally-flavoured & humorous works

& if u ever hear your parents mention Singapore's very own political prisoner on the shores of Sentosa, it's true.
Someone left him out of your Social Studies textbook

Back to work. I'm having Wednesday Blues right now, because I'm starting work tomorrow. "But the weekend is so near?" Right, so I'm having Wednesday Blues, followed by Sorry Honey It's Thursday & then TGIF. What a week of work. Only 3 days to catch up on a whole week's stuff. The Earth still spins when you're at home "kiao-ka"ing, so don't be surprised to find your "In" tray organisms multiplied exponentially by the time you're back in office.

*Slips on my hot cocoa mix*

Chocolate is my remedy for (insert Day of start of working week) Blues. Makes me feel a tad better, but does nothing in preparing for the big bad day tml.

Why is it that I resist going back to work so much? That as tomorrow gets nearer, I get more calculative, to the second? Feeling that time is slipping past my hands quicker & I'm unable to control it anymore. A dozen other activities that I could have spent my time on during the past few days flashed through my mind, calling out "I could have gone to Sentosa's Flower Fest...", "I could have taken a stroll along Pandan Reservoir", "I could have gone to the movies...", "I could have went cycling at ECP...", "...went Changi Beach for sunset...", "...went Changi Airport...", etc... In short, I felt the time of my freedom ending right ahead & back to regimental lifestyle, where I could no longer make any decision on my own life & do what I like to do. Now is like the last commercial break, before it starts on its last quarter hour & ends.

During your workday, you could choose to take coffee breaks, smoke breaks, & many toilet breaks. But of course you'll still have to stay within the office, & be properly attired, & basically, work. I thought school was regimental enough, now I know. Heh. At least you don't work from 8-5 in school, & can still decide to go Orchard Road for a movie after school. I've dragged myself out for dinner after work many times, & I always end up crawling on my bed after coming back. Now I understand why my Dad (and probably yours too) ends up sleeping in front of the TV. Working is tiring, & more importantly, restrictive & restraining on your life, making it boring & lifeless.

I can never enjoy my weekends to the last minute. I envy those who can still go clubbing on Sunday nights & return to work the next day. I'll have to stay home & go through my emotional roller-coaster, to be mentally prepared for work.

But of course, work catches up with you once you step into the office, so you immediately sink back into all the action. & before you know it, it's the end of the day. & I'll recall the night before, I was so frustrated about flying time that I meticulously thought ahead of every single detail, & events like going to the bus interchange, taking the bus ferry service & walking through the camp gate seemed such big deal.

But that's not the end of the day yet. "You are in the Army." & so I have to go for extra driving at night, to assist in the new drivers' orientation package. Rush home for a quick familiar bath & then book in again, & it's Friday again. I really should have taken these two days off.

But as I think back to last Friday, or any other last hour of the last day at work, it's quite a similar mental image. There was no rush to go home, or anxiety to get out. Most of the time, I would be rushing out for dinner on Wednesday's stay-out nights, or rushing home on Monday's stay-out nights. But for Fridays, I'll take my time. Partly to clear any loose ends & tidy up my job so I can have a peaceful weekend. However, there was also a part of me that wanted to stayed on. It was the feeling that there was the weekend lying in front of me, waiting to be filled with plans. There seemed to be no hurry. Monday would only be in sight after Saturday night. Moreover, there was also a change in mood of the workplace, when it suddenly becomes friendlier.

*My PC blanks out suddenly & iTunes went into DJ repeat mode ("and I lov-lov-lov-lov-lov..."). I jumped. It's when you're anticipating something but you don't know when it will come. Then it comes. Yeah.*

I love camping in school. You're free to roam, the boring place where you sink into your seat in the day is now a totally different place to explore. There are no disciplinary mistresses around, or your favourite crush, so you don't have to be at your best behaviour. The same structures & buildings, but a totally different atmosphere at night. It's relaxed, laid back, & peaceful. No more exam stress, tutorials to rush & remedials to attend. No voices of teachings, or the school bell ringing. The night is still young, & you have the familiar places, but with a different use for them now. Sleep in the classroom legally, bathe in the school toilets, take a stroll around. I could never get enough of them, & I still miss my school now, terribly. Especially its charm at night.

Or bathing in the sea of sunset. The dim amber light casting long shadows on the floor, the sound of students hustling to go home, as the sky turns from bright to orange to pink to blue & dark. I love to leave school in the late evening, when it's dark & the ambient lights are up. But there's still some twilight in the sky, the deep assuring blue feeling. & the school sleeps peacefully under the stars. Walking out of the walkway & into the bus-stop, you have the sense that a long day is over, & a certain sense of satisfaction tells you it's now time to go home & relax.

But you may not feel that in the office. The place needs to be one of considerable size & structure, one where you spend not only most of your time in, but do most of your daily stuff in. One where daily memories are left behind. One such example is the camp. Where I work, eat & sleep in. After working hours, I go up to my bunk & sometimes, I just feel like lying down on the bed & watch the sunset from the window, only to go home late at night. But of course I still manage to convince myself (or my friends will drag me to go home together), & I have never done that before. & it seems like I will only consider that if I am given the freedom. If I am released from night training on Friday night, I will rush home like everyone else. But if I'm given the freedom of time, the beautiful sunset will sometimes get to me.

And that is just the beauty, of the irony of time.